The last two weeks were a blur of 16 hour days and back to back (to back) yoga classes, let downs, rejections, discoveries and friendship. I saw the sun rise and set each day, but the moments in between were soggy and gray. On Saturday evening someone asked, “will you lead a two week boot camp again?” I said, yes, but that next time I will be much more intentional about the boundaries I set during those two weeks. For instance, if I teach at 6am and 6pm, I do not have to work every hour in between. And it’s worth the gas money to drive home for lunch and nap if I know I’m starting early and ending late.
At the start of a new week, I am examining my pace and rhythms and observing my habits when I get overwhelmed or exhausted. I’m asking a few questions:
Where am I putting my energy right now? Is it serving me and my dreams?
What is the first to go when I get overwhelmed?
Am I willing to meet the needs of others before I meet my own?
The third question is especially edgy for me. It bumps me up against the belief I hold that if everyone around me is happy, I will be happy. If I can satisfy the needs of others, my needs will be satisfied.
What I realized these last two weeks is that if I cannot meet (or even identify) my own needs, the place from which I am meeting others is shallow and desolate. I only have the dregs to offer. There is no faking vibrance and abundance. People pick up when I’m scraping bottom. And when I am scraping bottom I am usually desperate for someone to serve my needs. This is when people run away and hide.
Today I am starting tender with myself. And so far, the interactions I have had with others have been far more graceful.
Do you have more difficulty identifying feelings or needs?
