One of the more frustrating practices I experience is the practice of shopping. Sitting across from a beautiful and precisely (though casually) adorned friend last night, I realized that my dislike of shopping is actually an avoidance of some much needed work in my practice of alignment. She said, it is important to me to know what I like. When she said it, it illuminated that it is not important for me to know what I like, and that causes suffering for me.
This suffering manifests in situations when I do shop and purchase items that seem likable in the moment and often prove unlikeable as they sit in my closet unworn for months. It manifests when I go home and look with envy at the ease of my sister’s dressing and how much I am drawn to her wardrobe over my own.
I have practiced knowing what I like in some areas (tea, for instance. Most oolongs are my favorite. Sencha is a runner up). In music, this knowing has always come naturally. Food is tricky because what I like becomes entangled with what is good and while practicing what is good has directed what I like, when faced with several good options I have deep trouble knowing which option will satisfy my liking. I know what yoga leggings I like and I will pay out the ass for them.
The practice of daily style as it aligns with my personal liking has almost all together alluded me.
In all practices, knowing what I do not like is always easier. This is the first step. But I am ready for more refinement.
In my wardrobe there is a black cotton tank dress with a cinched waste line that I would wear every day, but don’t and a pair of skinny jeans that have lasted me for several years and always make me feel super sexy when I wear them. I also have a certain brand of shirt (of varying sleeve lengths and necklines, all in black and gray) that never fail to satisfy. Currently I am exploring, where do I believe in scarcity and therefore horde my options?
In other words, if I like a black shirt or dress with the ocassional jacket over top, why do I ever wear anything else?
How do you know what you like to wear? Trial and error? Mimicking examples? I would love to know.
I think all of the above. I definitely trial and error (which proves to be disappointing when I want to pull off a look and no matter how I try to make it happen, it looks unnatural and unflattering on my body type). I find myself mimicking as well- seeing a look or item on someone wether that be a friend, celebrity or just someone on the street.
I like this post, it’s an idea I’ve never considered. How DO I know what I like? Maybe not just even in clothing, but in general. It intrigues an inner dialogue. : )